Fraken-siblings

Hi everyone! Thanks for the reads... over 500 page views!

As promised, some funnies. Enjoy.

~~~
This if my brother and I a few years ago when we took our mom to a Fleetwood Mac concert.

My brother and I are very accident prone. This may be the understatement of a life time. You should all feel for my parents. It was a near constant doctors/hospital visits through the years with him and I.

Starting with myself around 18 month old, I climbed into my Fisher Price baby buggy, and flipped it... landing face first on the cement floor of our basement. I actually vaguely remember this, though I know it seems far fetched. I successfully killed my front two teeth in that fiasco. Or how about when I was about three and was using my dad's leg as a fire pole; jumping up and sliding down in a giggle fit. That is until I caught the corner of the drawer pull just over from my eye. Still have that scar, and definitely remember that one.

Now, these sound bad. And if they were all my parents had been put through that would be one thing... but you'd be wrong.

My brother has split his forehead open three times.... and I may be indirectly responsible for all of them.

One-- Toddler!brother is chasing me through the house. Young!me runs in the back hall way... Now, as I run past the door, the breeze I have created catches the door, and starts to pull it shut.... as Toddler!brother runs face first into the corner of the door. Needless to say, my mom threw us in the car and took us to the doctor's to stitch him up. I had to sit in the backseat with him, and hold a towel to his gushing forehead. Upside? I got to sit at the nurses station and color while he got sown up. Imagine my dad's surprise when he got home from work. (Pre-cell phones people!)

Two-- Younger!brother and I are playing with this rocking horse bank in his room before bed. When you put money in the bank part, it plays the melody of Teddy Bears on Parade... no idea why I still remember that... Anywho. Bed time, and I go to my room. Now, I feel this one is a little more on my parents, but the rocking horse was left on the floor next to his bed. Annnnnnd, he rolled out of bed while he was sleeping, and... you guessed it. Face first on to the horse. Puncture wound, and blood splatter. My dad took him to the ER in the middle of the night, where my brother has an asthma attack, and they can't start stitches until they get his breathing under control. Slightly!older!me wakes up when they get back from the hospital, and more amused than I should me. Now, here's the sick part. My mom still has that rocking horse! I think it's on the hearth in our family room right now!

Bonus round-- In the middle of these events, my brother, while jumping on the pull out couch in the basement, jumps off, and breaks his ankle! He gets a "[r]wed" cast put on.

Three-- Shortly after the cast comes off... and I mean like a few days... One of my oldest friends is over--seriously, I've know this girl for... 23 years at this point--I digress. Her and I are playing, and younger!brother is bothering us. So, we take off running through the house to go to my bedroom to blockade the door, so he'll leave us alone. Chasing thus far hasn't gone well for my brother, and it proves dangerous yet again. Old!friend and I are bare foot, which proves an important part of the story. Going out of the family room at my house, it goes into the front hallway, which is tiled. If you turn 90 degrees to the left, it becomes carpeted again, and leads to the bedrooms. Old!friend and I are able to grab the door frame, and swing into that 90 degree turn on the tile, no problem and barrel down the hallway to my room. Now younger!brother is wearing socks.... he makes it about 45 degrees and trips.... slamming his face into the molding at the base of the floor. This time around, I don't need to hold the compress to his face, as he's old enough to do it himself. Neighbor drove friend and I over to her house, while my mom took my brother to the hospital. Now here's the fun part, the doctor at the hospital remembers that my brother had *just* had a cast taken off. Luckily for my mom, the doctor also knows my mom, so he tells her, "If you were any other person, I'd have to call social services...."

Whoops.

My brother's accident proneness didn't stop after these childhood instances. In high school all his friends called him "Hobbles."

Now don't get me wrong, I'm like 3 degrees off from being as klutzy. I have indeed fallen down taking my own pants off before. Seriously.

I've also broke my ankle crossing a street, and tore my rotator cuff lifting a wheel chair.

Here's my question for you: As my brother and I were both adopted, and not from the same parentage, is it nature or nurture?

~~~~~~~~~


So, again... thank you to everyone for reading. I'll keep the stories up, and hopefully some lighter-hearted ones compared to what I have posted of late.

In closing, I'll leave you with another Christmas-of-past pictures.

So if I don't post before Christmas, merry whatever you celebrate. And Happy New Year if I miss that one too.

Peace,
L

Taylor, the Latte Boy

So... it's been awhile.

No excuses, I just am terrible at sticking with things without instant gratification.

So, what's new!

A lot and nothing at the same time. I got a promotion, and really all I do is work. Yes, I am very aware of how boring I have become. Still selling video games at the "Better Purchases" but also have a lot more responsibility with in the department. Notice the time stamp, and you can imagine what the life of retail worker is like right now. If you didn't guess hell, punch yourself in the dick.

Hm.. what else... Ah, yes. I'm not on my crazy arthritis medication right now, so alcohol has re-entered my life with a vengeance. And many a bad decision has happened because of it. Beer is mighty taste, but I do need to find a new Rheumatologist, and stop being in constant pain. I have the phone number of a University of Michigan expert in my wallet right now... so I need to stop being a bum and call.

Next on the list is I bought a condo in Ann Arbor! It's both a mixture of excitement and code: brown. Being an adult-ish is... bleh. Granted I'd never want to go back and be a teenagers/early 20's ever again, but the responsibility is not fun. My place is great though. It's in a perfect location, and I love it so much more than any of my apartments of the past. When I eventually get around to unpacking all of my boxes, I'll have to actually invite people over, or maybe take pics?

I guess the next highlight would be co-starring on a podcast with some of my friends.

http://stradimus.com/

If you guys are video game fans, or just want to hear me make an ass of myself, head on over to the link above. I would have to say, doing these podcasts is something I look forward to. Anyone remember Cross Fire? That's kind of how I describe the show... video game Cross Fire.... with a lot more dick jokes.

This piece of news I wanted to save for "last." Over the summer, my dear friend Aaron and I went to Washington DC for another one of our vacation, and I met my birth mother! I'd say that's pretty intense, huh? It went really well. She's a really cool lady. That, and holy crap do I look like her! Picture being loaded.... now.

Creepy, right?

Well, I guess for people that grew up with their biological parents, it isn't creepy... but again, I wouldn't know that either.

So, I guess overall things are ok. Lonely, but ok.

I still miss my grandparents everyday, and I know Christmas will be incredibly rough. I think my mom and I just need to get really drunk so we don't remember the intense amount of crying that will probably happen. My bastard of a brother will be there... but I don't think he'll be invited to my drunk pity party. Who knows, maybe him and I would get along drunk? I doubt it.

I feel like at this point I need to post some funny story, though I don't know what one to tell. So I think for now, I'll skip a story. As usual, I'll post the link to the new blog up on my FB/Twitter... and you guys tell me what you want to hear.

So, in closing, I'm gunna drop another pic for you. A Christmas picture of myself programming my grandma's cell phone, 10 years ago.

What a cutie, huh?


Thank you again to everyone that reads!
-L

2012 Can Suck It

Hello my faithful friends!

I am yet again back for one of my small stints that will of course lead to annoyed questions of future postings.

So, since I've been gone:

Does this pretty much cover it?

Yep, my life fell out of the tree and hit a few branches on the way down. So, if you will, here's the blow-by-blow.

So, shortly after my good posting stint, I went into an ugly low point. Which I am not unfamiliar to, but ya know, I still haven't found an adult-style solution for it. Hide-in-a-hole is still my go to. I will say, I have started some new medication, and even in the 2 1/2 weeks I've been on it, I feel better than I have in.. well, years? Forever? It's hard to think of a time when I snapped out of my selfish-internal-laser vision. Or more can I say, I can't. Save when I was drinking myself stupid, and I didn't have a thought deeper than a puddle. Psh, a deeper thought than a glass of water. But I digress, I feel a lot better. So lets hope they keeps going.

Next branch on that ugly tree, holds the sudden and unexpected death of my Grandmother.

I miss her very much. Her and I were always very close, and that blow was... wow. Harder than I ever imaged it would be. I'm still more in shock than actually dealing. I did the same thing when my dad died. I expect an ugly meltdown in a few months, per what I went through with my dad. This time though, I am on medication.. so, God willing?

My grandma was my biggest ally. Granted, a silent one. About 7 years ago, the remainder of my family--mom, grandparents, and my brother--were having a cook out. I was basically on edge about my dad, and being 12 kinds of unstable. And something about my brother cooking on the grill pushed me over the edge. A screaming match ensued between my grandpa, my mom and I. I stomped out of the kitchen, and was fully intending to pack my weekend back to get the hell back to Ypsilanti. At that point my grandma came down the hallway to talk to me. She calmed me enough to find out that it was all spurring from missing my dad so much. She looked me in the face at this point and say, "I'm *always* on your side."

I've always joked about my love being for sale, and my grandma was the highest bidder. All in poor humor, of course, which is usually my style. Maybe it's my age or just being so tired for the last few months, that I've been kind of quiet with the vulgarity. I'm sure at some point, the floodgates that is my mouth will open back up. For now though, I grieve for my grandmother.

Following this, I have an eye appointment that goes about as well as you'd imagine... for me. The doctor tells me I've gotta come back for some more testing because I have calcium deposits formed on my optic nerves. Awesome right? But as they had just dilated my eyes, I can't have the test done right then.

The hightlight in my tale happens at this point. My friend Aaron and I went to NYC for the week. Saw two shows--Sister Act and Mamma Mia--and spent a few nights with our friend Matt. Then a few nights in New Jersey with his grandparents. What lovely people, and the folios of my grandparents, if you will, Nega-Grandparents. During the trip though, things are starting to tumble down the hill though.

So, when we get back from the trip, I've gotta head back up to my mom's for a multitude of reasons. One of those being, my eye test. It went... mmm, ok? One of my eyes I will say, I had a really hard time with the test, which really freaked me out. The deposits, though there, aren't in a place that are--at this time--causing any vision loss. Now, here's the kicker: I'm pre/high-risk glaucoma. I don't know that I could live without my vision. And I'm 100% serious. Deaf, loss of olfactory functions, my vocal functions? Take 'em. I need to be able to see. Hopefully, this is not a road I'll have to trek. I'll keep y'all posted.

So here's the next tree branch: on my birthday, my grandfather passed away. Happy fucking birthday, huh?

Not that I much enjoy my birthday or being reminded of this time of year. For those of you not versed in Lori trivia: My birthday is the 1st. Now, 8 years ago on the 3rd my dad died.

I'm picking a new birthday. Details on that to come.

I believe that brings us up to date. Other details have been removed, mostly because they are annoying or boring. I will add, during that month though I had intense food poisoning and a God awful sinus infection. But at this point, I'm nose back to the grindstone. Working my face off, listening to tons of podcasts, watching movies, blasting through some video games. Back to normal I guess.

So in closing, hey peeps. I've missed posting. Next time, a non-depressing post. Cross my heart. But in closing, here's a pic of me in MoMa, with one of my favorite paintings, by my favorite artist... so, here ya go:

Peace, love, and titty-grease,
--L

I Left My Heart In San Francisco

Hello world.

Unfortunately, I have a very emotional story to tell today. Last night, I had a dream of someone, that I'd love to forget. This is the first time I've thought of her in months, but it just shows, I still carry that burning torch. And it is one, that I wish to be rid of.

This is a story of unrequited love.

And one, that even now, I find hard to even talk about.

Sometimes, you meet a magic person. A person that's pieces just fit so perfectly with your broken ones. That is "my" person. Her energy surrounded me, and made everything feel the way it should have been. And the one person that I gave full reign of me. As to say, the key to the castle where all the forbidden dark closets lie. I had no desire to hold anything back from this person. Were I the city of Jericho, she was Joshua with his ram's horn.

Our story starts back in the year of our Lord, 2005. We were both 18 years old.

The first time we met, I don't believe we said 3 words to each other. That could have been partly because of the large amount of alcohol consumed. Back in that day, every Friday night, we--my group of friends and I--would shuffle to Dano's house, drink heavily, and then stumble to the local night club, Necto. By that night's end, her and I were laid out on Dano's futon. This person, I had never met before, and didn't remember her name laid together, both hoovering on the edges of consciousness. At the time, though I was slightly uncomfortable, I was just happy to lay my alcohol addled brain down. Now, hmm.. I suppose I find it funny.

That semester, her and I became very, very close. Despite our significant other's liking. It was an instant understanding, and closeness.

Another one of those Dano-Friday-night-drink-fests, a large group of us decided to play spin-the-bottle. Stupid really, but there was a "ah-huh" moment that night. There must have been 10-15 of us playing. Lots of friendly kisses exchanged. Ex-gf sat to my left, "Her" to my right, and her girlfriend to her right. At some point, one of us spun, and it landed on the other. Even after all of these years, I remember that moment very distinctly. We leaned in, and barely brushed lips, when on either side of us, girlfriends pulled us apart, and planted their own kisses in place. I swear, it played out like one of those silly moments in a movie. I remember being annoyed and that very intense display of jealousy on ex-gf's part. Until I realized, that both significant other's was worried of our closeness. Ah-huh.

That semester ended, I moved to a different dorm to live here during the summer, ex-gf went back to her parents, and "Her" went to home to her parents. But oh the glories of the internet. Over that summer we had a near constant communication through instant messenger, and in some regards became even closer. That summer was when I realized that I felt something deep, and secret for her. Not exactly honorable, since I was with ex-gf. In hopes of making the silliness go away, I told a friend about it. He told me to *never* tell ex-gf. He was so serious, and all I had wanted was him to laugh at me.

It came to not matter, because that next school year, "Her" was transferring to a different school. C'est la vie.

Years go by, and it's now 2007. I'm 21 years old now. And recently broken up with ex-gf. I was young, and wild, and free.

Then, out of the blue, she calls me. Over the last few years, since she transferred schools, I believe we talked 3-or-4 times, and now for some strange reason, she shows back up in my life. And she came to visit me, helping me move. It was this visit that most of the trouble starts. See, I had put those underlying feelings out of my head, and now, they were starting to bubble up again.

One of the nights she was staying with me during that visit, we went to our old stomping grounds, Necto. A few drinks, a few cloves, dancing... re-connecting as friends. Had nothing else happened that night, it would have been a fun night, and my life right now would be so much different than it is at this moment. But that wasn't the path that was set before me.

As crowded night clubs go, eventually you'll get bumped, or pushed into other people. And that's exactly what happened. I was pushed into her, but instead of just laughing and moving to an appropriate distance again, she held me in place. Locked eyes, and inches away. I'm not sure if it was an eternity or a few seconds, but she kissed me. And held me there. And it's the place that I've always wanted to be in... that perfect moment. A place that lasts forever but is far too brief. If I could live in that moment, I would be happy for the rest of my life. The problem is, that I do live in that moment, and it is destroying me.

After that night, there were a few more visits over the remainder of that summer. But once the new semester started, it's like I didn't exist. And the cracking of my soul started. It was about this time I started to drink very-VERY heavily. Just to numb myself of feeling anything. But that's how it went for a few years, visits where she made me feel like the center of her universe, and then nothing. And I just drank more-and-more to feel less-and-less.

I saw a few people over the last couple years, but nothing has or can compare to what I felt/feel for "Her." I've tried too. But in all honestly, I was taken out to sea, and left to float in the middle of nothingness.

Yes, I have skimmed over a lot of things. A lot. But I don't have it in me to tell those stories right now. This is an incredibly emotionally draining story to tell.

But to bring us to the present, her and I haven't talked in a year. She is now married.

And I'm trying to move on. To repair the damage. But one thing I can say is, I will never be able to give of myself to another person the way I did with her. I don't have it in me to be able to.

So for now, that's part of the story.

I promise an funny story next entry.
--L

Week 1

Hello my lovely followers! I hope thus far 2012 has been treating you well.

I have to say I was not one bit sad to see '11 end. What a terrible year it was. A slew of health problems plagued myself, my family and my friends. What with my shoulder surgery, and my arthritis taking an incredible turn for the worst, my mother's shattered ankle, and pulmonary embolism, my grandparent's constant in-and-out of the hospital, and Allen's nearly dying from a horrible lung infection... sign. Yeah, 2011 can bite me.

On top of that, I have had the misfortune of finding out a very dear friend of mine is HIV positive. My heart breaks over this. I know I'll be the most supportive I can to them, and probably become a crazy prevention advocate... wait, I already am. Regardless, I worry for all my other friends, and you, my dear readers. So be you gay, straight, male, female, whatever... pleasepleaseplease get tested, and practice safe sex. There's no reason for this horrible virus to continue to be spread. Bellow there is a link to a wonderful non-profit in the Ann Arbor area. They offer testing, information and support groups.

http://hivaidsresource.org/

I hope this never has to be a reality for anyone else. But know that no matter if we've been friends since pre-school or have never met, I'm hear to listen, and offer whatever support I can.


~~~~~
Ok, getting off my soapbox now...

I promised a few days ago my plans for the next year and a few stories of New Years past.

This year, my resolution is/was to actively work to improve my mental state. It is no surprise or secret that I've been circling the drain for quite sometime. I haven't been going to counseling and the medication I'm on doesn't exactly work. But these things need to change. I know counseling isn't in my near future, but getting a different medication regiment is something I can do. That and writing. Near and my other side projects. At least trying to direct some of my energy outwardly should and does help a little. The plan is to write 3 entries a week. I can say now, they aren't all going to be humorous. I have some demons that are rather dark, and I know that committing to writing often will spur some very sad entries. Definitely some old stories that I need to share and--hopefully--stop dwelling on.

Story time.

On my drive back to Ann Arbor New Year's Eve, I began to ponder how many years back I can remember to what I was doing for the end of the year. So, here we go:

2012-- Driving/In my car at midnight, then spent playing Skyrim
2011-- At Aut bar with Matt, Allen and Julia.
2010-- Dinner with Matt and last minute re-invitation to Amber's "party"
2009-- Pajama party at my apt with Matt, AP, Marc, Joey and Wes.
2008-- In Ferndale for Ellen's house party, then a 3 hour drive back to Ann Arbor in a snow storm with Meredith. Followed by an epic World of Warcraft play session. Then Fran came to visit for the day, and we went sledding.
2007-- With ex-gf and ex-college friends at ex-gf house party. Which I eventually bailed on to get drunken Fleetwood--whoops.
2006-- I have no memory of this night!!!! When consulting my friend Dano on what we may have done on that night, he responded, "Get drunk?" Thanks Dano......
2005-- Went to a *huge* house party, where my ex-gf and I first kissed, and then shortly thereafter dated for nearly 2 1/2 years.
2004-- Karaoke party with a boy from high school, my friend Ellen, and--I believe--AP.
2003-- Unsuccessfully sneaking into a bar with an ex-friend. This particular ex-friend will come up later on in posts as the worst human being in the world.

Well.... I'd say that's pretty impressive how many I can remember! 2006 has been driving me crazy for near-on a week now. But who cares, right?

Sorry for a boring entry. I'll rack my brain for a better story to tell next entry. For now, I'm going to sleep. I wish you all a good weekend, and a better year.

Hearts and kisses,
--L

11 months, 20 days

Just wanted to send out a quick Happy New Year and a thanks for reading. Later tonight, ill have a real post. About ghosts of new years past and plans for the coming year.

With that said, I have to go to sleep now so I can actually function at work tomorrow. Granted, the rest of my coworkers will be hungover, maybe I can pretend to be and get away with just a lack of sleep because of video game abuse. Time will tell.

Well, goodnight my little droogies,
L

Tales from a Retail Hell

Hello people of the internet! It seems for the moment I'm back in business.

Well, I made it through the holidays in one--physical--piece. Mental was never really a whole slab to start, so we'll let that one slide for the moment.

I've had a pretty eventful few months, mostly involving working my face off.

July/August, my mother shattered her ankle which had this one driving multiple times a week back and forth from her house and my apt. Only a 100 mile jaunt in each direction... no biggie. Plus side, I had my dog living with my during that time. Yes, this is the same dog that farted on me when I had my shoulder surgery... but who can resist this face:

My mom's well on the road to recovery now, and my baby dog is back living with her :-( Sad face was for the dog, not my mom's healing ankle.

In September, I was in Chicago to celebrate a dear friends birthday.In-conjunction with being blown off by 3 people that live in Chicago. My Facebook is riding a little lighter these days.

October took me on a secret trip to California to see an old/lifelong friend. I was there about a week, which happened to be over Halloween. That trip is a whole post in it's own. I will say, that one of those days I walked from the Miracle Mile to Sunset:

Along the way I stopped and got a tattoo at the famous High Voltage shop... yes, the one that Kat Von D owns. No, she wasn't there. But Khoi--from the show--did my tat.

Notice how that phone isn't my Evo? Yeah, lost my phone when I was there... well, kind of. I *thought* I lost my phone and got a pay-as-you-go replacement for the day.... proceeded to find my phone the moment we got back to my friend's house.

That brings us up to November/December.

As I have mentioned before, I work in retail. At a place we will call "Better Purchases" Working in such a place during the holidays can be detrimental to one's health. Don't worry, only had laryngitis for 2 weeks this time around  -_-  Trying to sell and Xbox to someone when you sound like Kathleen Turner after a bender is.... interesting.

As I said, I made it out in one piece. No maulings by mothers trying to get the last Leaster Leap Pad... though, at times, it was a close call. 

I would also like to add, the holidays bring out the dumbest in people. Some of the things people would as me, just blew my mind. One of my favorites was people asking if I could check the inventory of other stores. Now hold on a second before I lose you on this one... they didn't mean other "Better Purchases" they meant "Bull's eye" or "Buy-Me-Toys". Multiple people asked me this. It numbs the brain. Runner up to the dumbest thing asked of me this year was: "Do you guys rent video games?" *falls over* Rent???? Really? Does my shirt say Lackluster, lady? I know at one time I did work in a rental store, but come on. Another fan favorite is people not believing me when I told them we were out of something. Example, Battlefield 3 for Xbox. We've been out since Black Friday. And yes, I mean still to this day. None in store. People have this look that I call the "You're fucking lying to me." I get it a lot. Not just at my place of employment.... but I digress. I get that look about 5 times an hour every shift. I'd like to go on record that I worked something along the lines of 40+ hours every week for the last 2 months. That a lot of "looks" for one person.

As I started to mention, I get this look a lot of places. Because apparently, I look like I work in every store I walk into. No joke. And here's some examples!

Back in March, when I was still in my sexy arm brace. Y'all remember that right? So hot... anyway, this lovely bookstore was going out of business, and I was there like a crow on roadkill. So picture me, in my stupid back hat that I wear, Hollister hoodie, ripped up jeans and the armbrace carrying a basket around browsing books, in my happy place. Not once or even twice, but 4! times I was stopped and asked for help with something. Of course, I tell all of these people I don't work there, and they all give me that look. Yes, the same "look." One girl even said, "Well, I *saw* you putting books out." Flabbergasted at this--and high on pain medication--I told her, "I.... I'm buying books....." she stomped off. Twat.

This one's a little older of a story, but when I was working at both my waitressing job and "Better Purchases," it was a Sunday, and I'd had an morning meeting at "BP," and then was opening up at the restaurant. This gave me about an hour in-between leaving one, and needing to arrive at the other. As they are only about 5 minutes away from each other, I decided not to go home, but instead to go wander around in "Bull's eye" to kill some time. Now mind you, this is a football Sunday, and I worked in a sports bar and grill, so I'm wearing a Patriot's jersey, and my black work paints.... compared to the workers of "Bull's eye" that wear red and khaki. I was just walking out of the fitting room, after trying on some pants and a lady stops me, and asks, "How many items can I take in?" I tell her, I don't work there... yep, you guessed it, "the look."

Another time that I was in "Bull's eye" wearing my "Better Purchase's" uniform, on the phone with my mom, angry about something or another. I get stopped, asked where something is. But as I'm all fired up about something I gave them a look of my own, and tapped my name tag and said, "Better. Purchases." and stormed away from them. My mom cackling on the phone at me. That time, I could only feel "the look" boring into the back of my head.

So, I wonder... what about me screams, "Ask me for help!" Because even other store's uniforms don't seem to fend off the mouth breathers that like to ask me questions. Or is it because I kind of dislike people? I mean like how cats are... when they know you hate them, they come and sit in your lap.

The world may never know.

Again, sorry for not posting. But these should be coming more often now. As my New Year's resolution is making an active effort to change my mental state. This blog started out as a therapist recommended device, seems only fitting to actually be using it. 

So, please send me story requests! Other wise, I can just ramble about my dog for the next 300 posts.... granted, even with story requests, I'll still probably talk about my awesome dog.

Until next time,

-L

PS-- Happy New Year if I don't post before then.